The Grass is Greener on the other Side

As a child, I would sometimes think to myself;

I wish I had her life…I wish I could do what she did…I’ll bet she gets to do this…

My parents response to me was always the same, “you think the grass is always greener on the other side.”

I would be lying if I said I don’t catch myself still doing this from time to time as a grown up.

We are all human, so it’s normal to catch ourselves falling into the thought process that someone else has it better than I do. I believe this is one disadvantage of social media. We start to believe, just by what we read or see, that nobody else suffers. It becomes a platform for some people to convey this inauthentic life with no problems, no suffering, and no emotional connection. I know there are lots of great things about social media, but this is clearly a disadvantage.

After finding out about my cancer diagnosis, I had to go through more testing. While finishing up an ultrasound, I found myself back in the waiting room looking at the women all sitting there. Each one there had a story, and I did as well. I found myself crying; I was actually sobbing. It was the first time I had cried since hearing those three words, “you have cancer.”  The woman next to me handed me a kleenex. The other three women sitting in the room saw me crying and starting to empathize, and they too, started to cry.  As new women were ushered in, I’m sure they were so confused. I mean, all of us in the room were just sitting there, staring at the TV and crying. Why? It’s because we all have these amazing God-given emotions, ways to express ourselves, and cope!

The woman next to me reached out and placed her hand on mine and said, “what is your diagnosis?” I shared my diagnosis with her and then she shared her diagnosis with me. She has a husband and two children at home. She is the main driver in her family because her husband is losing his eyesight. He had a congenital birth defect; first it was his hearing and now his eyesight was going. I shared with her that I was going through a divorce and had four children, and we realized that neither one of us had it better than the other. I didn’t want to be in her shoes and she didn’t want to be in mine.

We all have a story, and even when we catch ourselves thinking “someone has it better than I do,” we have to remind ourselves they don’t. When our children, who are on social media, fall into this same thought pattern, we as parents need to explain to them that life is messy for everyone and maybe a social media break is in order. Instead, sign up for some community service, which can give them a great dose of a reality check.

I had my MRI guided biopsy today on the other mass they recently found with the last MRI. I would not classify this as fun but it was manageable. I had a nurturing nurse who was so informative and attentive. I should know the results from this biopsy in the next couple of days.

My surgery is still planned for December 10th and the army that God has sent to “rescue” me is in full swing – offering to bring dinners, carpool help, cards, prayers, emails, text messages, and more – all to lift me up. It is working! These blessings are all around me, and this community is reaching out in multiple ways to let me know my family is loved.

It’s never a good time to go through a divorce or have cancer! For me, my focus is beating cancer and watching my children hit the milestones in their lives. Neither the divorce, nor the cancer will define who I am, but they will both be a part of my story.

Count your blessings! If you don’t feel them, then sign up for some community service. You will find the grass is NOT always greener on the other side.

17 thoughts on “The Grass is Greener on the other Side

  1. You have such a gift of expressing yourself so beautifully! God gave us tears so let them flow. What a beautiful way to let go of fear, stress, and doubt. Tears are refreshing and cathartic. I am so proud of you, my lovely daughter!

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  2. What a beautiful post, Angela. You are absolutely right, of course, and it was a good reminder. You are amazing. We continue to pray for you and your family. Thank you for your words of wisdom and inspiration today. Much love to you. Xo

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  3. That post hits home to all of us. Thank you so much for sharing! An excellent reminder we all have our “stuff” we go through and I toltally agree with the social media thought process! You are so right!!!

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  4. Anngela you are SPOT ON with this post and just the nudge I needed to sign up for a community service session over at COR with Aidan. Thank you for everything you are doing!

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  5. Angela you inspired me a few weeks backs talking about your faith and CHIRP experience and you continue to do so now. No doubt the Holy Spirit is working through you. Thank you for following your call and sharing your journey. You and the kids are in my thoughts and daily prayers!

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  6. Angela, I am just learning of this today. It takes so much strength and courage to share your story like this, hats off to you my friend. If there is ever anything I can do for you, please find me, you know the roads I have walked. My family will be adding you in to our daily rosary and chaplet. Sending you so much peace and love.

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  7. Angela, thank you for the perspective. I had no idea what you’ve been going though. Your strength is so inspiring. It really just goes to show you that you don’t always know what challenges people are really dealing with in life. Hang in there. Those kids are so lucky to have a strong mama!

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  8. Angela, I recently listened to a podcast by krista tippet “On Being” interview with Rachael Naomi Remen, author of kitchen table wisdom. I think it would speak to you. Prayers and hugs. I also have a friend who went through what you are going through last year. She’s available to talk if you need. Becky strom

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  9. Angela, you are the strongest person I know. I’ve seen it four times at Research Medical Hospital. I’ve seen it in Colorado. I’ve seen it in STL. There is no greater force in the universe than a mother’s love for her kids and I’ve had the privilege of witnessing that countless times over the years. You are unique and special in so many ways. No doubt my dad would say “cancer has no idea what it just got itself into” and would go on about feeling sorry for whoever works at the insurance companies when you’ve conquered this all. I am so proud of you for leveraging your support group. We are all 100% behind you as you tackle this.

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  10. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. You are a strong wise woman, Angela. One day at a time sometimes one minute at a time. Hugs

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  11. Your words are inspiring and so very true! Thank you for sharing this with us all. I hope the very best for you and your family during this hard time. Prayers and good vibes are being sent to you!!

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